Fifteen years ago, Midland resident Brian Molitor asked himself this question. His answer: Men need a plan.
“If you don’t have a plan…then you leave so much to chance,” he recently told the Midland Daily News.
Father’s Day is a day dedicated to honoring the way fathers support, love, and provide for their children. Ahead of Sunday’s celebrations, Molitor spoke with the Daily News about how fathers and father figures can intentionally connect with children to help positively raise the next generation of adults.
Molitor is the founder and CEO of Molitor International and has been married for over 36 years to his wife, Kathleen. They have four children who have added grandchildren to the family tree. His consulting and training company serves global clients through numerous books, training manuals and articles on various topics, including fatherhood.
The plan developed by Molitor includes three main elements – lifelong mentoring, intentional blessing and rites of passage – as steps a father can take to learn more about how to raise the children in a healthy way.
Molitor International is located at 1550 Collins Lane in Midland.
Founder and CEO Brian Molitor’s first book on parenting, in 2004, was titled “A Boy’s Passage.” Her second book, “Boy’s Passage-Man’s Journey”, was also published in 2004. “Girl’s Passage-Father’s Duty” was released in the spring of 2007. Her books have been translated into several languages, including French, Spanish, Portuguese, Mandarin and Korean.
Molitor has produced and hosted numerous television programs broadcast in Australia, Africa, the United Kingdom, Eastern Europe, the Caribbean, South America, Canada and the United States. He recently served as the executive producer of two youth-oriented reality TV shows. He also produces and hosts a series for fathers called TV4DADS which airs internationally on inspirational networks.
His training courses, Leadership that Lasts, Barriers to Bridges, Team Problem Solving, and MITI, have helped hundreds of organizations, including those in business, healthcare, government, education, and various non-profit organizations. non-profit.
Molitor is also the founder of Malachi Global, an organization that exists to train and equip fathers, mothers and other mentors so they can successfully lead the next generation. Malachi Global uses retreats, conferences, seminars, videos and teaching materials to accomplish its mission around the world.
“You have about 18 years to lay the foundation that your child will build on for half a century,” Molitor said. “We have work to do (as fathers) and we have to take it very seriously.”
He said it’s important to manage your own expectations and standards while raising children.
“As a father, you have to be careful not to try to make them look like you,” Molitor said. “Every youngster is unique. You just put the lineup in front of them.”
According to him, one of the biggest challenges fathers face at this age is that young people are subject to many distractions, such as social media. But dads can overcome this challenge by spending quality time with their children and listening to them.
“If you spend enough time with someone in your care – talk to them, ask questions and listen – you’ll find out what turns them on,” he said. “When you find the passions of this youngster, you nurture that.”
Molitor said fatherhood should be spent showing children diverse life experiences that can build life skills, confidence and curiosity. For example, intentionally spending time reading books with your children could help spark an interest in storytelling.
In a local youth study that looked at the developmental assets of Midland County students in grades 6-12, responses indicated that depression increased from 17% in 2016 to 28% in 2021. The data at county-wide showed that the use of technology, including television, video, computers, cellphones, tablets, texting, email and social media, was somewhat – but not significantly – associated with depression.
The Legacy Center for Community Success has partnered with Midland Kids First to distribute a 2021 study, which examined development assets – both internal and external – and the factors that influence them. Two of the external influences measured were family support and positive family communications.
Although the data did not collect exclusive information about the child or adolescent’s relationship with a father figure, the information highlights that 72% of respondents have support from family in general. This experience was measured at 79% five years earlier in a similar study conducted in 2016. Positive family communications experienced by respondents decreased slightly, from 38% in 2016 to 36% in 2021.
“Home should be a safe place,” Molitor said. “Dads really need to step in and be the ones the family can rely on. The kids are watching. We need to be optimistic, we need to know – not hope – that there will be opportunities for each of the young people in our care. »
He said fathers should regularly communicate reassuring messages such as “It’s going to be okay”, to help validate safety as children navigate an uncertain world.
“A big part of dad’s job is to be like a big evergreen that stretches out and covers these kids,” Molitor said. “We have to protect them. We have to provide for them.”
