The ventriloquist world was stunned. Alan Parsons, one of the greatest of all time, has been found dead in his home alongside his model, Lance. Dead too.
The cause of death is unknown, but, according to coroner Dr Scholls, “Whoever did this is looking at the business side of a wicked shine.”
Predictably, Detective Angie Tribeca and her partner Jay Geils were among the first to arrive on the scene. In fact, they finished third, but who’s counting?
The death hit Detective Geils particularly hard, as he once aspired to become a world-renowned ventriloquist. And if he could have done it without moving his lips… he would have been.
The bogus community is in turmoil. (Actually, they’re not. But that phrase seemed to make sense in this article. So, we’re sticking with it.) Hundreds of middle-aged men around the world have taken their hands off their models’ ass. to take their hats off to Parsons – much to the chagrin of the models who were left speechless by the act.
During Lance the model’s autopsy, there was a major rift in the case. Tribeca and Geils’ diligent detective work – not to mention a jigsaw – revealed something very interesting trapped in the dummy’s stomach.
A USB key, with a manuscript on it which remains unrepresented to this day. The book? A 1,200-page amateur memoir titled “A Ventriloquist Speaks: A Book That Could Get Me Killed” by Alan Parsons.
“Someone is going to have to comb through every overly dramatic memory and every clumsy metaphor to try and find some kind of clue as to why this man was killed,” Dr Scholls said. So, as the last one left in the office… she did.
This led Tribeca and Geils to their prime suspect: Fisher Price, the world’s #1 ventriloquist and a man who moves people with his lips. After the interrogation of Price and his dummy left them empty-handed, they came together to design the perfect sting operation. What was?
Geils would take the stage to fulfill his dream of being a world-class ventriloquist. Detective Tribeca would realize his dream of becoming… a model.
To see how it played out, how Geils actually misplaced his hand early on, and whether the crowd found this performance believable or took his negative reviews online, tune in tonight/Monday at 9/8c.
